Friday, December 23, 2011

Put it in your mouth because I said so!

My awesomeness now extends to the making of FRUIT CAKES! Yes, that misunderstood and oft belittled holiday staple has found redemption thanks to me. You may laugh but lets see you make meringue with a hand mixer that only has one beater. As a surprise no less. I didn't know going into this that I'd have to do that. And hats off to all y'all who had to do it by hand in ye oldie times. Okay, technically I didn't make a meringue 'cause I only used egg whites but still. That's like making a whole nuther dessert to put inside the first one. And don't bring up cherpumple. You can cheat and buy pre-made pies for that.

And really, who's the sadistic chef that came up with the idea to make somebody stand in a hot kitchen and beat egg whites, of all things, until they were firm? BY HAND? That's some evil shit. I'm looking at you, dead French jerk. Second guess is tied for a Belgian or a Swiss... Swissie? Swissite? Swisher? Whatev, it took me just shy of an hour to make it and I still didn't get it 100% firm. Anyways, the cakes are in the oven for the next 2 1/2 hours. Mom says it'll take even longer than that.

Way back before dad retired and mom was still able run rings around lesser beings in the kitchen the fruit cakes were a holiday must. She made bunches of them to give to family and dad's co-workers. And not in a white elephant sort of way like with stereotypical holiday jokes. Everybody legitimately loved them. When she got to where she couldn't do it anymore people were worried she was mad at them because they didn't get a yummy fruit cake in the mail.

I'm not a big fan of candied cherries but I like them well enough in a fruit cake. If it was just for me I'd only use raisins, nuts and the candied pineapples. I'll have to investigate and see if other types of candied fruit are made. I only ever see cherries and pineapple this time of year. And while a fruit cake is good to eat at room temperature I like to slap it down with some butter and fry a slice or two. And of course I add splash or two of brandy for a truly delish Xmas treat. Maybe I'll share.

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