8 Warheads at once = burned tongue & cheeks, weird-feeling teeth, dehydration, queasy tummy, nothing tastes right. I'll prolly do it again.

Aside from this t-shirt and sleepy pants ALL my clothes (& sheets & towels) are not only clean but also put away. That never happens!

was at work all of 5 mins when the one of the Top 5 Worst Customers comes in to ruin my evening. It's all uphill now. Please be uphill now.

Everything sucks and I can't get warm. I'm going back to bed and pout. FML

When relationship A ends and you're single for a few years before relationship B starts, is relationship B still considered a rebound?

Gimli is in my store.

"I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores." -Moliere

Screw you internet, I'm gonna read a book!

I've lost between 10-15 lbs since I weighed myself in the Fall. Not from eating right or exercise so no congrats. Not boasting, just saying.

Oh, my tummy. I'm starting to think Cheetos (TM) might be bad for me.

Mom is back home now.

After vanishing months ago my chain magically reappeared yesterday. It's been ages since I've had a good twirl.

Mom is doing better today, catheter is out, leg blisters cleared up, only hurts if she's poked, getting some PT.

There's a goddam blizzard going on people, go the hell home! I have to poop.

Old man winter can eat a bag of frozen dicks!

Happy Elvis Presley & David Bowie birthdays!

Mom's doing a bit better today, still in pain despite the meds, new ultrasounds and MRIs have been ordered.

all mom's labs & scans are "unremarkable" meaning they have no clue. they're keeping her over night

My sis took our mom to the ER earlier this evening. She just got into a bed, waiting for the doc. Don't know any more than that.

Why the hell aren't you working, Wii?