Dear Young, Dysfunctional, White Trash Couple with Two Unhappy Kids in a Stroller and One on the Way,
Thanks for keeping it classy by leaving the store to stand right in front of our door before you started arguing, but not before you probably started shop lifting. It's that kind of thoughtful consideration that reaffirms my faith in humanity and reminds me that the future is an unwritten page. Of course, to be clear, I faithfully believe humanity is doomed and things are mainly unwritten because far to many people lack that basic skill. I hope your children one day think as highly of you as I do.
Hatefully, Ben
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