Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A conversation I just had with dad

I went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Mom and dad were finishing up a late dinner. Mom had dad hemmed in so rather than jostle her around to get out from the table he stands up, holds his hands out to me and says, "Here, throw this away."

All I see is an empty water bottle so I take it, toss it and proceed to get my own bottle. When I turn around he still has his hand out, shaking it. "Well get this, too!" and my years of programming kick in and I go to get whatever it is he's holding. And then I see it a couple of wadded up, dirty napkins.

Me: (snarling in revulsion) UGH! Don't give me damn dirty napkins like that! (I hand him the trash can to put them in himself.)

Dad: Well god damn! Are you too good to pick up a dirty napkin? Get out of my face. What the hell is wrong with you?

Me: I don't like touching nasty, filthy things!

Dad: Well you wipe your ass.

Me: It's my poop. I know where it's been.

Him. You're too finicky.

I left the room. My talks with dad all tend to be like that. What should I get him for Father's Day?

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