Friday, December 31, 2010

For me, 2010 was far and away better than 2009 but I'm still glad it's over. Here's to 2011 being better still, for all of us.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Q: How is WVU like marijuana? A: They both get smoked in bowls!!!
there's an alarmingly awesome number of crows/ravens in the sky right now

Monday, December 27, 2010

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Saturday, December 25, 2010

just woke up from a long winter's nap. Happy Solstwanzkamas errbody :)

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

shopping, cleaning, decorating, baking, wrapping, delivering: this past week I've been a holly jolly machine!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

now: groceries. later: baking goodies. also later: wrapping said goodies and other presents!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

My mom keeps making decaf coffee. I think she's trying to kill me.

Friday, December 17, 2010

As much crap as my car puts me through it's been doing really well in this weather. Now I bet the electrical will all short out tomorrow.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Closed up early tonight. The roads aren't good but they aren't undrivable if you're careful. In Xmas news my shopping is DONE!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

After that last post a bunch of people came in the store so let's see if it works again. GAH! I'm so freakin' bored.
Aw man, not even 5:30 and I've had to resort to solitaire already.

Monday, December 13, 2010

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
— Aristotle
tummy feels gross today, glad I'm not working. which flannel sleepy pants will make me feel better: star wars, JLA, or retro robots? putting interent radio on xmas music and going back to bed for a bit.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Huh, I can't very well decorate the tree without damn ornament hangers.
2nd batch of nuts & bolts is done, tree is up and lit, deck is maybe halfway together

Busy busy lazy

So much to do today - make more holiday treats, do the decorating I keep putting off, build an indestructible artifact deck for M:TG. I have two of those underway, but I won't say which two. I guess at this point it goes without saying :P

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I can't even think of a snarky title for this latest bullshit

I sent a few local friends this, pretty much verbatim, on FB so if you're one of those you can skip this 'cause there's no new info. This is just a re-hashing for the few far-away pals who bother to pay attention to my rantings and dramas.

Here's a quick run down of the sitch:
My sister Lisa, and nieces, moved out to Pine Knoll Apartments there in Loch Gelly (or however it's spelled now) a few months ago. (For non-locals that's one of the HUD apartment complexes right outside of town) The nieces' boyfriends moved in with them. My oldest niece, Laci Jo, just turned 18 in October. Her boyfriend is 25. He's got serious anger issues, spent 2 years in prison for beating his ex-wife. Oh, and he's a black belt in something. He's already been psychologically abusing Laci. Yesterday he made her kiss his feet and call him her king. Consenting adults is one thing but this definitely wasn't some sort of weird foot fetish thing. Couple days ago he also tried to get my youngest niece, Julia, to go next door and score some pills for him 'cause he's broke and out of drugs.

Last night (Tuesday) he came out of Laci's ("his") bedroom and saw Lisa standing there in the hallway. He accused her of eaves dropping and cussed her up and down, she cussed back etc. Knowing my sister she very well could have been eaves dropping but she could just as likely been standing there staring off into space 'cause she was stoned. Anyways, first thing this morning they got into it again. He threatened to have his mom or his sister beat up Lisa, he was gonna get her fired, get her kicked out of Pine Knoll, and have somebody waiting to jump her one night when she's walking home from work. Somehow I managed to get threatened in all that too.

She told him to get his ass gone and Laci went with him, because, of course, nobody understands him, he's not like that when they're alone together. The usual. Before all that went down Laci and Ashten (even his name is douchey) were supposed to come down to mom & dad's yesterday and dad was gonna loan them some money to get insurance for the car Ashten's grandpa just gave him. Once dad got wind of this the deal was naturally off so now he's pissed at mom & dad.

We had a brief window of being able to get Laci away from him. She finally called mom and wanted to come and spend the night here for a few days. Of her own choice. But mom... her heart is always in the right place but she totally botched it. She kept trying to reason with Laci over the phone instead of getting her here and then talking to her. Laci finally got pissed, over the money thing, and said she'd just have to choose him over family and hung up.

**This next stuff is where I ask my local galpals for advice, but anybody is welcome to chime in.**
Sorry, that was longer than I expected. Anyways, I'm asking you ladies for help on a couple of things - primarily information.

Does anybody know anywhere around here to buy some mace or pepper spray? Is mace or whatever even legal in WV? The threats are probably just so much bluster but this one actually has a history of violence so better safe than sorry. If nothing else it will make my mom worry less knowing Lisa has some way to protect herself when she walks to work, or Julia, when she's home alone.

Is anybody good friends with cops or prosecuting attorneys? Since Laci is 18 there's no way we can force her to get away from him - not that that ever works - but there has to be some angle that we can use o get that ass out of the picture. My sister said she called and talked to somebody but since Laci is 18 there wasn't anything to be done. Lisa has some legal problems so she probably didn't want anybody officially looking at her situation but there's not gonna be a way around it. And Ashten really could get her evicted if he went and blabbed to her landlord about the partying that goes on with them. I'm constantly surprised that Lisa keeps finding corners to paint herself into. This whole situation is squarely her fault.

I'm really super sorry to drop this flaming bagful of drama on your doorstep, especially during the holidays, but I thought you all might be my best option for helpful advice. After all, you were teenage girls not too long ago yourselves. What like five years or so, if that? Any ideas at all will be greatly appreciated.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

If all I manage to get through this month with is a bleeding ulcer it'll be an Xmas miracle.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Xmas shopping is 85% achieved. Thankfully I still have one more payday coming before the big day. Now I just gotta decorate the tree.
xmas shopping at target. ain't been this excited in ages!
Hello payday, let's go Xmas shopping.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Closed the store early and made it home safely. The roads are really bad so if you have to be out tonight be extra careful.
The roads are starting to get slick and nasty around here so e'rybody be careful.

Friday, December 3, 2010

No, I DON'T know that one song that goes like dum dum duduh that's on the radio that the guy sings.
I feel gross. Nobody give me any more cigarettes. If you see me with one smack it out of my mouth. I'm for serious.
I should get drunk more often. My hair looks amazing today!
Oh shite. Who's not sober raise your hand. i can't even do that. Fuck you.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

h'oh dang, it's been a looong time since i've been this loaded before midnight
don't wanna be awake right now, definitely don't wanna be outside right now

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Monday, November 29, 2010

I'm about to get bah humbug all over some bitches if they don't stop tearing my tinsel down.
Hooray, 1st batch of holiday treats has been divvied up and delivered. Yay me!
This evening was accomplishful.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Saturday, November 27, 2010

You really should come and compliment me on my Retail Xmas Decorating skills. They're mad. Like I will be at you if you don't come over.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thank you, urban myth about tryptophan levels in turkey, I'm going to bed before midnight for a change.
must...not...doze...off...

Reasons why I'm thankful

1) My parents who've always worked so hard to provide me and my sister and nieces with all the things they never had growing up. And more importantly, the things they did have - a loving, supportive, frequently aggravating, house full of great memories and a pretty nice life overall.

2) I'm relatively healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally. So are most of my family and friends. The ones who aren't could be a lot worse off.

3) I have a cool job I actually like.

4) My hair is awesome. Pretty much all of me is.

5) Even though my ego my be over blown some of my arrogance isn't entirely unfounded. "Some" = most.

6) I'm able to waste money on self-indulgent stuff like comics, toys, beer, D&D dice and Magic cards, tikis, matching socks and underwear, over-priced coffee drinks, CDs, Wii games, bass strings, candy bars, DVDs, and pretty much everything else I buy.

7) Free internet porn.

8) A great bunch of friends - near and far - who put up with most of my nonsense and like doing the stuff in Item 6 with me. And 7. You know who you are.

9) Not living any closer to the Arctic Circle than I currently do. Or somewhere warm but awful.

10) My hair is super fantastic.

11) Being on speaking terms with most of my relatives and friends.

12) My brain. More specifically the few smarts I've managed to hold onto, and the other few I've managed to develop over the years. My IQ may not be the highest but it could be a lot worse. And my sense of humor, of course. You all should be equally, if not more, thankful for that one. Like it should definitely be in your top five thankful.

13) Did I mention my hair?

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Duh. Just realized the NYC skyline on the cover of Supertramp's Breakfast In America is made out of tableware and such.
GAH! Do I keep tweaking my White/Red Magic deck or do I make two whole new, single color decks? So conflicted!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Dammit! Had to take my eyebrow ring out.
*sigh* When I say your CD or game is un-fixable I mean it. Saving your time and money IS me being polite.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Even in desperate need of shampooing my hair is nigh incredible. Fact.
Still haven't read the books but as far as movies go HP&tDH was really good. Man do I hate Delores Umbridge!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The new Red Riding Hood movie, would they be silly enough to make Red be the werewolf? Hollywood being fond of flimsy twists and all.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sunday, November 14, 2010

*sigh* now I'm having to grill steaks. I just wanna put on my flannel sleepy pants, watch Walking Dead, then go to sleep :(
all i wanted was some sesame stix, store didn't have any. today sucks
Sore throat, runny nose, fever, greasy hair, dead car battery - how could you let this happen to me?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Last night/today was great with friends and food, Wii, walking around and then some bowling. Downside: I'm feeling kinda flu-y now.

Friday, November 12, 2010

What the hell old dude?!? You don't just walk into the back room without asking no matter how bad you have to piss.
Spartacus Blood & Sand Season 1 - do I need it in my life?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I love finding surprise candy in the bottom of my book bag! It's almost better than money.
I am NOT in favor of retconning Peppermint Patty and Woodstock into Peanuts Xmas decor. They weren't there when the tree stood up!
Yay for veterans, boo (mostly) for war!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

I'm so excited to finally be taking my Wii home after weeks of waiting that I might actually wee.
Why do people insist on parking right in front of our door when there's a whole big, empty parking lot to chose from?
Got my car back (again), got a black Wii, got a duffle bag full of ammo; the past two days have been productive.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Criminy, my head is killing me and it's not sinuses for a change. There will be neither rock nor roll in Cheap Thrills land this evening.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Some movie just let out so I have a store full of people who better buy something and leave. Quickly.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Oh man, I've been at work 1 hour but it seems like 8. And I've had decent customers to talk to even. It's gonna be a long night.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

brakes are fixed on the white truck now we get to start moving some of dad's antique car parts into the basement. the fun never stops
Oh joy, time to do truck repairs with dad.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Cannibal costume how-to

I've been kicking the idea for my costume around for a few years now. I always liked those silly get-ups where it looks like a dude is riding an ostrich and wanted to come up with a variation on that. I have a tee shirt with a picture of a cannibal dude in a mask stirring a boiling pot that says, "Cannibal Joe's Pot Luck: If you get out you're in luck." I thought it would be fun to do something along those lines but wasn't sure what exactly then the two ideas merged one sleepless night and voila!

I tried to find an actual plastic cauldron to wear instead of making one. A couple of years ago there were lots of them around in various sizes but this year all I could find were little ones on a par with jack-o-lanterns for trick or treating. I thought maybe I could find a flower pot that might work but they were either too bulky or too expensive. Then I remembered an art project from 1st grade. We took balloons and paper mache-ed them to use for making Easter baskets. Cheap and easy, I thought. I just had to find a balloon big enough to fit over my ridiculous gut. No such luck with the local party stores so I ordered a couple off the internet. Thankfully, my dad has a very well stocked garage and I was able to use the air compressor to inflate the balloon.



Next came the gooey part with the paper mache. I found many recipes online but I finally with the formula I remembered from 1st grade: tear newspapers into strips, soak them for a few seconds in a mixture of one parts flour per two parts water, then apply. My poor mother's lovely dinning room is a badly breaded mess now.



I ended up using like half a bag or flour and a week's worth of news papers, including two whole Sunday editions. I worked on it for four nights, putting on layer after layer until I just got too sticky to continue. Then it would be dry the next evening when I got home from work and I'd start over. You have to be careful and not let it dry too fast or the paper will split and you'll have to add many more layers to cover that. By the second night I was confident the plan was working and the paper was holding the shape of the balloon.



After it had completely dried it was time to pop the balloon and, if the paper didn't collapse, start cutting. Success! It was solid and thick enough not to tear.






I got really lucky with my first cut. It ended up being just wide enough to slip nicely over my belly. And the second cut was equally lucky. I eye-balled it to where fit snuggly around my waist and would stay put without the aid of suspenders. I wasn't too concerned with making the cuts even and level 'cause there would be other elements added on to obscure the edges. Then it was time to paint it. Outside, on a windy day, it got dry really fast.



Prior to the cutting and painting - while I was waiting for it to dry - I started on the skirt element that would hide my legs. I got a piece of white material for drawing the cannibals and another piece of floral print to use as a background for the areas I was going to cut out of the white sheet. And then I had a grass skirt to attach around my knees so that it would look like my legs belonged to the pygmies.









My pal Brad was a real trooper and helped me do the drawing and coloring. Instead of buying a bunch of expensive fabric paint I went with Sharpies. Brad also supplied me with a piece of pipe insulation to use for the rim of the cauldron. Then in between the pygmies I just drew a bunch of jungly looking leaves. After it was all colored and cut out I attached it to the cauldron with hot glue. I just used safety pins to stick the background fabric on the lower half of my shirt so it would just hang down loosely. Everything else was just accessorizing. I got the pith helmet from Amazon, the shirt was three bucks from discount store and dyed it to match the helmet. I could have gone with two grass skirts instead of one, though. I also had a monocle but it was a bother so I just left it in my pocket.



Overall it held up really well throughout the evening. It did end up splitting along the bottom a bit from all the times I had to take it off and on. I could sit on the edge of a chair with it on but not in a car. Also I erred on the side of caution with the white material and ended up having too much. We drew one too many pygmies on it. We drew four on it but three was the perfect fit so two of them over-lapped and it looked a bit weird from the back.

So now you know how to make one if you want to be awesome next Halloween.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Dinner to go

Alrighty, here's my outfit of awesomeness. It was a big hit everywhere I went last night. Rather, it was a hit with the people I didn't have spend ten minutes explaining it to. Most people got thankfully. I took pics of the various stages of construction but I'll post that later when I'm not at work.






Happy Halloween!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

"You believe in the goodness of mankind," the fortune cookie says. It's no fun when they obviously aren't even trying.

All the sleuthing dogs in the world can't help you!

Jeezy Creezy, holidays are exhausting! Been working all night on Halloween costumes with my buddy Brad. Who knew making a post-apocalyptic hand-held Gatling gun would be such a chore? As for mine, I'm gonna be cutting it close but I really think my ensemble will be outstanding. Here's your next clue.


You won't figure out Ben's Clues,
You won't figure out Ben's Clues,
You won't figure out Ben's Clues,
Because I'm deliberately vague!
And also I'm very smart and I've been planning this for a long time.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I love watching clouds move fast on a windy day. like a vast armada off to conquer distant shores

Sunday, October 24, 2010

*sigh* microwave kettle corn is never as good as you get from the fair grounds

Some balls are held for charity and some for fancy dress

Actually it's a balloon. Also, it's a sneak peak of a major component of my Halloween costume. Any guesses?


Two posts in one day? Fancy that!

Die young(ish) and leave a good looking corpse

So last night was the Zombie Prom at a local bar here in Oak Hell. Back in the summer the same place, Rafters, had the cool tiki party. The turn out for the Tiki party was decent so we all had high hopes for the Zombie Prom. Then again, the fact that most people showed up to the tiki party without so much as a lei on, just in regular clothes, should have served to keep said hopes from getting too high. Most people around here don't know what a tiki is but Halloween is always a big to-do.

Here's a pic of me getting ready. Brad and Jessica's mom, Diana, did an amazing job getting me made up. Click the pic to go see more pics.

Aside from myself and my buddies Brad, Joe, and Jessica the only other zombie in the place was the bartender. Lame. A few gals had on regular Halloween costumes but as with the tiki party the vast majority were in street clothes. Our friend Karen had on an especially cute candy corn witch ensemble. There was one guy dressed up as a zombie hunter so that was a nice touch. There was a costume judging contest but it was based on crowd approval so naturally the chick in the full-body cat suit and the guy in the white tee shirt that he wrote on himself with a Sharpie to say Zombie Prom 2010 were crowned prom king and queen. I was robbed! Where's Carrie when you need her?

Overall though, it was a fun evening. The best parts were when we stopped at various convenience stores on our way to and from the bar. Everybody who saw us got a big kick out it. What i really should have gotten pics of was the shower when I got through cleaning up. All the fake blood and bits or gore splattered all over made it look like somebody really had been brutally murdered in there. The bulk of it washed away but I need to go clean it again. I still need to find something to get this fingernail polish off, though. Mom says theres some remover here somewhere but I'll prolly just go down to the garage and use some of dad's acetone.

Oh, and the gal I asked to be my zombie date was a bust. After saying yes and acting really enthused she never returned any of my texts and didn't show up (she had to work so she said she was gonna come by after she got done). Her loss. I still count it as a win 'cause I actually got up the nerve to ask instead of doing my usual grumpy coward routine.

Now I have to get started on my super cool, super secret costume for Halloween night, or rather the 30th 'cause that's when Trick or Treat is happening locally. I'm gonna go hang with my zombie compatriots 'cause their family does a big thing every year. Then when that's over there are other parties to go to. And then on actual Halloween night is the premier of The Walking Dead. I'm stoked! Here's a fun clip to get you in the mood.

hello, clear autumn night sky, your full moon is lovely

Friday, October 22, 2010

They've been in here for at least 30 mins looking at CDs and movies. Now they've discovered the used cassettes. I'm turning the lights out.
Crap, the parking lot is jammed packed. Is some shitty movie opening tonight?

Monday, October 18, 2010

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Saw Red, it was okay. Plenty of explosions and funny bits, good cast.
super excited! having real sushi at Kimono Kin with Seletyn then off to a movie
Nice! Found a jar of Amish frog jam in the fridge. Opted for that instead of apple butter. Talk about Sophie's Choice...

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Dammit!

A charming young lady was just in the store wearing a t-shirt that said, on the back, "I may not be miss right but I'll milk you dry until she comes along." And it was accented with rebel flags, naturally. That, in and of itself, didn't really bother me. There's an over abundance of shirts like that for guys so I'm all for the ladies having all opportunities be equal, even the sleazy, tacky ones. And this is being worn by a gal who could have made two of me, with meth tats all over her neck. Just to flesh out the image for you. Yes, I went there.

But on the front of her shirt was a smaller logo but I couldn't tell exactly for who or what. I'm pretty sure it was the Dixie Chicks, but I didn't want her thinking I was checking out her tits. It was Dixie Something at any rate. So I did a Google image search for "dixie chicks I may not be miss right t shirt" and got nada. I shortened it to "dixie chicks t shirt" and got porn, straight and gay. There were plenty of pix of the the actual Dixie Chicks scattered around, and true, by now a search for anything will get you porn, but still. What? Why? Now the next time I think about a blow job I'm gonna have that fat chick in my head.

And don't even try to pull the, 'you're fat too," line. I may be over weight but I carry it well as opposed to being morbidly obese. So just you shut up!
Bobby Goldsboro! AAH no! But also yes! "Summer (The First Time)" is maybe the 1st ode to a cougar to break the Top 40, and it was bubblegum!
Oopsie, went off and left my phone at home. Oh well. Today's retail adventure starts off with one of those Best Of funk compilations.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

so parched, need live-giving chai. an iced one, venti. thanks. how long until you get here?
Finally made it to Angaan, the Indian place in Beckley, for lunch. Mango lassi and tandori ftw!
The whole thunder and lightning thing this evening has been kinda weird. I like it, but it's still kinda weird.

Monday, October 11, 2010

holy shit, the band at Class 6 wing night just opened with Satellite Of Love. nice
I overwhelmed too many zombie dreams so you switched to dinosaurs? Nicely done, Brain That Hates Me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Today is 10-10-10 and that's pretty rad, but XXX would be even radder.

Pith off!

A major component for my Halloween costume arrived in the mail today. Click the pic for a full view unobstructed by my page layout.

I've wanted a pith helmet for ages, and now I'm even more awesome than I was before! Once I obtain a fez I'll be strato-awesome.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Super NOT frustrating: Goldfrapp's Felt Mountain. Every track gives me chills.
Not frustrating: I'm now the proud owner of an awesome new pith helmet, British style.
Also frustrating: discovering I had set my alarm clock wrong after the power went out the other day. I've been a hour behind for days.
All my dreams were frustrating because I couldn't find the stuff I was looking for or get to the places I needed to go.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Just enough brake fluid left to make it home in one piece.
Awesome! Brakes went out on my way to work. And by awesome I mean fuck you, universe.
If I didn't have to poop I could get so much more done in a day.
Stoopid fish people from stoopid Manaan in stoopid KotOR making me stay up all night. I have to be awake in 7 hours dammit!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Sunday, October 3, 2010

One nice thing about chilly weather is rediscovering cool clothes you forgot you had 'cause you haven't seen them in about six months.
Resident Evil 3D was all sorts of ridiculous but in a fun enough way.
1st bar = too blah, 2nd bar = too redneck, sitting with a pal on his porch = just right

Saturday, October 2, 2010

There's one waiting for me to open, prolly wants to sell gold to buy pills. I shouldn't be cynical, might just want a present for her mom.
Mary B. you hot bitch, you make the AM a-okay!
warm toast with homemade apple butter on a cold morning is pretty groovy

Thursday, September 30, 2010

If you call a business & the person says "Can you hold please?" & then you don't hear anything, that's not a cue to start a conversation.
Aww, RIP Tony Curtis.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Monday, September 27, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

You've been going over the same 2 rows for 90+ minutes. The magic fairies don't put the new stuff out until after midnight on a full moon.
Thank Satan we have Billie & Ella in stock but I'm really needing some Dino today.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Oh #Sade, your music is so soothing that I don't hardly mind at all that you can't spell your own name.
Well hello there, Clusterfuck. Usually I just call you Friday.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Monday, September 20, 2010

NOM! wing night at Class 6 with Michelle Seletyn Rodriguez. spicy wings = clear sinuses

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Dammit, put it off as long as I could but I had to start using #tylenol allergy meds. Prepare for nose bleeds in 3...2...
Today's agenda: suffer, shower, laundry, take niece to walmart, suffer, plot mass destruction, video games, suffer. Maybe not in that order.
goddam, I smoked too many ciggies again
holy shit, is fucking Jesco here?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

@ Rafters for the Kentucky Headhunters after-party (?) oh, is it glamorous
Gross. Just sold stuff to a jerk covered fingernails to neck in Nazi tattoos. Sure he had more I couldn't see. I feel dirty.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Thanks Satan, for the rain keeping the pollen down. Gonna have a snack then play KotOR until the Benedryl kicks in.
I don't feel good and I hate you.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Blugh, think I have a fever. Not the kind for which cowbells are prescribed.
Wild Rumpus at Chimney Corner with Lisa Gale, Michelle Seletyn Rodriguez, & Deb Carter Harding
I'm miserable. Woke up every 2 hours all parched and unable to breathe, all the sinus drainage made my throat sore. HATE this time of year.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

When you're home by yourself, do you close the door when you go to the bathroom?

Monday, September 13, 2010

I got my fingers crossed you'll catch something baby, 'cause I just threw myself at you.
I've had 3 epiphanies! I know where my recent error occurred and I can fix it! Also, I'm, a shaman which means one day I'll be a god.
Got up early to take the car to a mechanic my dad swears by. Fingers crossed. Now I'm waiting for the Benedryl to knock me out for a nap.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Anybody want a FREE Alic In Chains bumper sticker? Yes, it's a typo.

Friday, September 10, 2010

I slick back my hair, you know the Devil's in there? So keep one eye open baby.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

George Bush, 17th Century right-wing philosophy, & fast zombies: a good (and long) essay http://tinyurl.com/2fxyjub

Monday, September 6, 2010

super fun wing night at Class VI with super fun Michelle Seletyn Rodrigvez and Lisa Gayle

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Friday, September 3, 2010

My co-worker had to leave so now I get to work the in-store concert by myself. I hope the audience is well behaved. I have a baseball bat.
ditto for the pumpkin cheesecake
the plantain chicken wrap at Delightfully Yours is super tasty

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

It's so weird - I'm extremely sleepy and ready for bed but it isn't even 2am. That can't be right!
Think I'll open today with #Cardigans First Band On The Moon. Their cover of #Sabbath's #IronMan is amazing.
Who's the smart guy who stayed up until 4am playing video games when he knew he had to be awake a mere four hours later?

Friday, August 27, 2010

Crappity dang, feels like I'm not entirely done with this round of kidney stone roulette.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Behold, the mind rending horror of Cock-thulhu!!!

Bored with your regular old didlos? Has human anatomy lost it's 'zzaz but beastiality still isn't legal in your state? Do you daydream about being raped to death? Well have we got something for you!

The Cthulhu, but they can't call it that for copyright reasons.

The Xenomporph, as in Alien movies.


And the zombie model.

I would own those, but not to use. I'd just have them sitting around randomly on a shelf, or stored in a fancy box so when I die and people find them they'd be all 0_o. Still, I bet the Cthulhu one would get you off like crazy. If you'd like to own one go here, then call me.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Miles Davis's "Bitches Brew" is an extremely effective redneck repellent.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Sinus headache woke me up at 9am, took a pill & laid back down. Next thing I knew it was 4:30pm. Good thing my life is empty & meaningless.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My "OWs" from last night were pre-emptive. I'm in the ER with a kidney stone attack.

I OW feel OW pretty OW

Goddam, I hate hate HATE trying to add pictures to a post on here. Anyways, guess what I did today.





The purple is just surgical ink she used to guide the needle. It should wash off in a few days. Oh sweet lordy it hurt a lot more than I recall. I got my earlobe pierced way back in 1987 but it finally grew over a year or so ago. I had my eyebrow done in 1999 but had to take it out for job search reasons when I moved back to WV from NC.

I never had the upper part of my ear done done, though. For some reason that piercing is called a helix. Hurt like hellix would be a better name but i knew that would be the case going in so I had it done first, then brow and lobe. The first time I got the eyebrow done it was over before I even knew what happened, only felt a little pressure. Not this time. They were actually kinda startling and took my breath away for a few seconds, but really they all only hurt badly for about a minute or so after the stabbings and insertions. Right now they're sore but not so much that it's a distraction. Unless I bump them with my glasses, then they get ouchy.

Going to bed should be interesting for a few weeks. I've gotten to where I can only fall asleep if I'm laying on one side or the other, not flat on my back. With new, tender piercings on both sides I might be in for some miserable dozing. Actually all of my dozings are kinda miserable but usually it's from some mental anguish or vague ennui. Alas...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Crab Rangoon, seaweed salad & BBQ chicken on a stick delivered for dinner. #lovemyjob
Not feeling the rock tonite so it's Ella singing Cole Porter songs. All y'all metal meth heads, thuggy g's and country bumpkins can eat it!

No?

For a good, long while now I've interpreted Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry" as "No Women? No Problem! Everything's gonna be great!" Lately it occurs to me that I may be off track by a few degrees. Now I don't enjoy it as much as I used to.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Heh, I just moved all the used Twilight DVDs to the comedy section.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Good day: treated mom to lunch, bought comics and games, cashed payday, hung out, played game, hung out some more, beer with pals.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Hey LOCALS! Do NOT go to the Fayetteville #TacoBell drive thru late at night. They make glaciers look like a pod race.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Monday, August 2, 2010

At work listening to great music and reading comics. It's AWESOME! I mean awful, so so terrible. Pray for me.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

I must be more down on myself than I thought

At some point this morning I had what should have been a really awesome dream but my damn subconscious wouldn't even let me have a fleeting moment of make believe joy. In the dream My Bloody Valentine and The Sugarcubes had reunited and were on tour. And not just reunited, but they also all formed a super group and played entirely new and amazing songs. The tour just happened to be coming to wherever I happened to be living and I was stoked. They were only playing small venues, in this instance a one room school house that had been turned into a hipster night club.

Naturally, tickets were very expensive and sold out quickly. I didn't get one. I wasn't massively upset though because I was still going to be able to hear the show by sitting on a hill beside the club that was public property. But nope, denied. Somehow the club had gotten permission to police the whole area and made us me leave. The dream morphed into something else unmemorable after that and I woke up.

How shitty is that? My own brain turns against me when I least expect it. I can sorta see how it would come up with the bit about me not being able to afford a ticket, since I'm usually poor, but you'd think that if my dream had me living in a place where a show like that could happen then maybe I might be able to actually enjoy it. I need to figure out which deep-seated neurosis was to blame. Was it a general sense of self-loathing, or maybe some sort of defeatist self pity trip, "nothing good ever happens to me, I get close but never get what I really want," or some sort of persecution complex? The best answer is probably "yes."

Saturday, July 31, 2010

scored a copy of Todd Solondz "Happiness" Who's ready to be comedically traumatized?
How awesome is the record store where I work? I snagged a 2 DVD set of Andy Warhol's Blood for Dracula & Flesh for Frankenstein for $1!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

1st day on the new job went great. This is gonna be an awesome job!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Stupid burned tongue, everything tastes like agony. That's usually how I know it's Thursday. Now I"ll never know what day it is!
You now have the privilege of knowing the newest employee of Cheap Thrills Records. Bow down to me! Lower!!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Ben's Busy Day

I got up at 7am to meet a pal for brunch and then we went for a hike. What the hell did you do? Probably not a damn thing.
We hiked along the railroad tracks in the New River Gorge then got to this place. Me and my pals in high school used to hang out here. It's not too far from uphill from the tracks, but this next one is. Same stream, just farther up.

Even farther up the side is a little are with a few pools and flat rocks, and this little fall in a shady grotto.

Here's a closer pic.

Saw some cool fungi.


And also this cool fun guy!

HA, stop groaning. That's one of the oldest puns around, you had to see it coming.

And the day isn't even over yet! I still have a D&D game in about an hour. That'll be a nice end to the day. Anywalky, I can already tell I'm gonna be sore tomorrow but it's totally worth it. Once I get my car fixed I'll be doing this a lot more.

*edit* Dammit, this layout crops out a good bit of the pics. I'll tinker with it later.
Poop is acheived! Thanks for being so terrible #McDonalds :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Aw, RIP Daniel Schorr. #NPR

Always a bridesmaid, never a bowel movement

So today was weird. I ate something that made me extremely gassy but equally unable to expel said gas. I've felt like I was gonna explode all day. I haven't made any updates about my poop situations lately so you're welcome. The worst part of it was I was too miserable to eat but I was totally starving; hadn't eaten since like 1pm and that was just a bologna sammich (most likely the culprit). I finally went to the grocery store and got ingredients for the only thing that seemed appealing: bagel, cream cheese, cucumber and pastrami, with peach mango water to drink. I'm starting to feel a tad better so the food and the Gas X I've been eating like candy did the trick. And how weird is it that the one time I really, really need to poop I can't? I must be getting old.

As if to illustrate that point - 'cause there's no such thing as a coincidence - the music playing in the grocery store was the last thing I needed to hear. I've been in a borderline-ish mood lately, kinda antsy, kinda mopey, kinda staring down the barrel of a gun I pointed at myself (not in a suicide way, don't be so literal you dullard), so the last thing I needed to hear was this blast from my childhood



followed immediately by



If you aren't inclined to watch/listen then the lyrics are here and here, respectively. On a quick side note let me just say that I have a long and complicated relationship with Pink Floyd in general and Dark Side of the Moon in particular. I can't really explain it. It's vague and overwhelming and I keep it at arms length. It never doesn't hit me hard, even just a song fragment will put me into a weird, weird mood. Being in a weird mood already was less than an ideal circumstance to hear that song. Anyways, so lately I find myself playing another waiting game but I'm completely clueless as to what I'm waiting for. I think I'm waiting on me to do something counter productive. Like, how in dream you watch yourself do the wrong thing but can't stop yourself. Like yelling at the next victim in a horror movie. Maybe I'm reacting to the habit of bad decisions 'cause it seems like I'm due. Whatever it is it's off-putting.

Actually, I was kinda in the vicinity of an okay mood before I went shopping. I had been to see a friend of mine in a play and actually enjoyed it despite my misgivings over small town community theater productions. It was cute, my friend was great, my tummy let me sit through the whole thing. Then, despite my tummy forcing me to go to the store, I was kinda glad and thankful that I lived somewhere that allowed me the luxury of a midnight run to get comfort food. Stoopid introspection, always lurking around the corners and messing things up. Ah well, it could be worse and probably will be.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Stoopid stoopid mail, stoopid stoopid census, stoopid stoopid government!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Every year I miss out on Comic-Con and every year in the future my body count rises.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Suddenly feel like an ass but haven't done anything ass-y in a long time. Delayed reaction from years ago maybe? Gonna go to bed and pout.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Is everybody clear on the fact that I'm all sarcastic and shit so when I say what a great day it's gonna be
I really don't mean it, right?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Summer TV: #Eureka s4e1 = total yes! #Louie eps 1 & 2 = ditto. #Futurama = damn you comedycentral.com, post the eps already!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I bought some stuff

Aside from some comics and the awesome zombie game (see the post from a few nights ago) I've picked up a few other odds and ends over the last couple of days.

1) A Shiva Lingam stone:

I picked it up at Tamarack of all places for like $3.50 (same with No. 2). That pic isn't of mine but it looks remarkably similar. Clicky the pic-y for a brief description. Basically it's a god penis.

2) A tektite:

Mine most resembles the one on the middle. Clicky for learning. Basically it's a space penis.

3) Writing for Comics & Graphic Novels, revised edition with Peter David: He's one of the few comic writers who can make me laugh out loud and then make a jaw-dropping plot twist that I never saw coming.

4) The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell: I find her delightful and insightful. Her take on modern American problems seen through the filter of our Puritan roots should be hoot. It was on sale for four bucks!

5) Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special: It was on sale for five bucks!

And now I'm broke 'cause I looked at the calender wrong and thought I would be getting another payday next week but yesterday's tiny, $43 dollar check is my last one for a few weeks. Damn.
I'm either having a really weird case of gas or the start of a kidney stone. Too early tell.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dr. Corpsley in the Parlour with...oh good heavens he used his teeth!

I picked up a new game today, a zombie tabletop deal. It seems super fun and easy, shouldn't take a lot of brains to play it. HA! See what I did there?


Who wants to play? Clicky the pic-y to learn more.
Wakey wakey, eggs and bac-y 'cept minus the eggs and bac-y. And one of the wakeys.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Monday, July 5, 2010

Thermometer in the truck says 93 degrees, weather.com says 88. Either way, awesome!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Ugh, I think I might have a low-grade fever but it's hard to tell on a warm day in a house with no AC.
:( I don't wanna go to the grocery store.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Lame lame lamity lame. All these chilly nights are killing my sinuses and wearing me out. I'm just gonna watch Burn Notice and go to bed.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

Power's been out since 1pm today, well before the storm got here. Just saw repair trucks go by. Fingers crossed.
RIP Sen. Robert C. Byrd. But uh-oh, now WV won't get any money.

Sunday, June 27, 2010