I sent a few local friends this, pretty much verbatim, on FB so if you're one of those you can skip this 'cause there's no new info. This is just a re-hashing for the few far-away pals who bother to pay attention to my rantings and dramas.
My sister Lisa, and nieces, moved out to Pine Knoll Apartments there in Loch Gelly (or however it's spelled now) a few months ago. (For non-locals that's one of the HUD apartment complexes right outside of town) The nieces' boyfriends moved in with them. My oldest niece, Laci Jo, just turned 18 in October. Her boyfriend is 25. He's got serious anger issues, spent 2 years in prison for beating his ex-wife. Oh, and he's a black belt in something. He's already been psychologically abusing Laci. Yesterday he made her kiss his feet and call him her king. Consenting adults is one thing but this definitely wasn't some sort of weird foot fetish thing. Couple days ago he also tried to get my youngest niece, Julia, to go next door and score some pills for him 'cause he's broke and out of drugs.
Last night (Tuesday) he came out of Laci's ("his") bedroom and saw Lisa standing there in the hallway. He accused her of eaves dropping and cussed her up and down, she cussed back etc. Knowing my sister she very well could have been eaves dropping but she could just as likely been standing there staring off into space 'cause she was stoned. Anyways, first thing this morning they got into it again. He threatened to have his mom or his sister beat up Lisa, he was gonna get her fired, get her kicked out of Pine Knoll, and have somebody waiting to jump her one night when she's walking home from work. Somehow I managed to get threatened in all that too.
She told him to get his ass gone and Laci went with him, because, of course, nobody understands him, he's not like that when they're alone together. The usual. Before all that went down Laci and Ashten (even his name is douchey) were supposed to come down to mom & dad's yesterday and dad was gonna loan them some money to get insurance for the car Ashten's grandpa just gave him. Once dad got wind of this the deal was naturally off so now he's pissed at mom & dad.
We had a brief window of being able to get Laci away from him. She finally called mom and wanted to come and spend the night here for a few days. Of her own choice. But mom... her heart is always in the right place but she totally botched it. She kept trying to reason with Laci over the phone instead of getting her here and then talking to her. Laci finally got pissed, over the money thing, and said she'd just have to choose him over family and hung up.
**This next stuff is where I ask my local galpals for advice, but anybody is welcome to chime in.**
Sorry, that was longer than I expected. Anyways, I'm asking you ladies for help on a couple of things - primarily information.
Does anybody know anywhere around here to buy some mace or pepper spray? Is mace or whatever even legal in WV? The threats are probably just so much bluster but this one actually has a history of violence so better safe than sorry. If nothing else it will make my mom worry less knowing Lisa has some way to protect herself when she walks to work, or Julia, when she's home alone.
Is anybody good friends with cops or prosecuting attorneys? Since Laci is 18 there's no way we can force her to get away from him - not that that ever works - but there has to be some angle that we can use o get that ass out of the picture. My sister said she called and talked to somebody but since Laci is 18 there wasn't anything to be done. Lisa has some legal problems so she probably didn't want anybody officially looking at her situation but there's not gonna be a way around it. And Ashten really could get her evicted if he went and blabbed to her landlord about the partying that goes on with them. I'm constantly surprised that Lisa keeps finding corners to paint herself into. This whole situation is squarely her fault.
I'm really super sorry to drop this flaming bagful of drama on your doorstep, especially during the holidays, but I thought you all might be my best option for helpful advice. After all, you were teenage girls not too long ago yourselves. What like five years or so, if that? Any ideas at all will be greatly appreciated.
Does anybody know anywhere around here to buy some mace or pepper spray? Is mace or whatever even legal in WV? The threats are probably just so much bluster but this one actually has a history of violence so better safe than sorry. If nothing else it will make my mom worry less knowing Lisa has some way to protect herself when she walks to work, or Julia, when she's home alone.
Is anybody good friends with cops or prosecuting attorneys? Since Laci is 18 there's no way we can force her to get away from him - not that that ever works - but there has to be some angle that we can use o get that ass out of the picture. My sister said she called and talked to somebody but since Laci is 18 there wasn't anything to be done. Lisa has some legal problems so she probably didn't want anybody officially looking at her situation but there's not gonna be a way around it. And Ashten really could get her evicted if he went and blabbed to her landlord about the partying that goes on with them. I'm constantly surprised that Lisa keeps finding corners to paint herself into. This whole situation is squarely her fault.
I'm really super sorry to drop this flaming bagful of drama on your doorstep, especially during the holidays, but I thought you all might be my best option for helpful advice. After all, you were teenage girls not too long ago yourselves. What like five years or so, if that? Any ideas at all will be greatly appreciated.
Mace or pepper spray can be bought at sporting goods stores (gander mountain in charleston for example. Don't know any where around here) or usually any place that sells hand guns.
ReplyDeleteI haven't bought any in a while but walmart might carry it too.
I've had boyfriends like ashten (I'm 41 now) and really the only thing you can do is wait it out and be there for Laci. Try not to make it about him and kill her with kindness.
Good luck
I don't have any suggestions, but I hope all your girls can get themselves out of these horrible circumstances :(
ReplyDeleteThanks :) There's not much you can do for them except cross your fingers.
ReplyDeleteLisa finally realized her ideas weren't going to work so she got in touch with the women's resource center and got some advice. Laci and King Kissy Foot ended up going back to Pine Knoll 'cause they didn't have anywhere else to stay. He cried and apologized to Lisa, hugged her and said he loved her. The usual abuser pattern. His mom went to see her at work and told her she wouldn't ever beat anybody up 'cause her son wanted her to. "He just has a problem controlling his anger." You think?