I must be more down on myself than I thought

At some point this morning I had what should have been a really awesome dream but my damn subconscious wouldn't even let me have a fleeting moment of make believe joy. In the dream My Bloody Valentine and The Sugarcubes had reunited and were on tour. And not just reunited, but they also all formed a super group and played entirely new and amazing songs. The tour just happened to be coming to wherever I happened to be living and I was stoked. They were only playing small venues, in this instance a one room school house that had been turned into a hipster night club.

Naturally, tickets were very expensive and sold out quickly. I didn't get one. I wasn't massively upset though because I was still going to be able to hear the show by sitting on a hill beside the club that was public property. But nope, denied. Somehow the club had gotten permission to police the whole area and made us me leave. The dream morphed into something else unmemorable after that and I woke up.

How shitty is that? My own brain turns against me when I least expect it. I can sorta see how it would come up with the bit about me not being able to afford a ticket, since I'm usually poor, but you'd think that if my dream had me living in a place where a show like that could happen then maybe I might be able to actually enjoy it. I need to figure out which deep-seated neurosis was to blame. Was it a general sense of self-loathing, or maybe some sort of defeatist self pity trip, "nothing good ever happens to me, I get close but never get what I really want," or some sort of persecution complex? The best answer is probably "yes."