Criminy, it's only 6pm. Feels like I've been here for 12 hours.

Guess who's hair is particularly awesome today. Go on, guess.

I'm about to get bah humbug all over some bitches if they don't stop tearing my tinsel down.

Hooray, 1st batch of holiday treats has been divvied up and delivered. Yay me!

This evening was accomplishful.

NOOOO! No! All sorts of no! Dammit. RIP Leslie Nielsen. :( http://ping.fm/RXaad

You really should come and compliment me on my Retail Xmas Decorating skills. They're mad. Like I will be at you if you don't come over.

Thank you, urban myth about tryptophan levels in turkey, I'm going to bed before midnight for a change.

must...not...doze...off...

Reasons why I'm thankful

1) My parents who've always worked so hard to provide me and my sister and nieces with all the things they never had growing up. And more importantly, the things they did have - a loving, supportive, frequently aggravating, house full of great memories and a pretty nice life overall.

2) I'm relatively healthy, physically, mentally, and emotionally. So are most of my family and friends. The ones who aren't could be a lot worse off.

3) I have a cool job I actually like.

4) My hair is awesome. Pretty much all of me is.

5) Even though my ego my be over blown some of my arrogance isn't entirely unfounded. "Some" = most.

6) I'm able to waste money on self-indulgent stuff like comics, toys, beer, D&D dice and Magic cards, tikis, matching socks and underwear, over-priced coffee drinks, CDs, Wii games, bass strings, candy bars, DVDs, and pretty much everything else I buy.

7) Free internet porn.

8) A great bunch of friends - near and far - who put up with most of my nonsense and like doing the stuff in Item 6 with me. And 7. You know who you are.

9) Not living any closer to the Arctic Circle than I currently do. Or somewhere warm but awful.

10) My hair is super fantastic.

11) Being on speaking terms with most of my relatives and friends.

12) My brain. More specifically the few smarts I've managed to hold onto, and the other few I've managed to develop over the years. My IQ may not be the highest but it could be a lot worse. And my sense of humor, of course. You all should be equally, if not more, thankful for that one. Like it should definitely be in your top five thankful.

13) Did I mention my hair?

Ho Ho Ho! Decking the halls at work.

Duh. Just realized the NYC skyline on the cover of Supertramp's Breakfast In America is made out of tableware and such.

GAH! Do I keep tweaking my White/Red Magic deck or do I make two whole new, single color decks? So conflicted!

Dammit! Had to take my eyebrow ring out.

*sigh* When I say your CD or game is un-fixable I mean it. Saving your time and money IS me being polite.

Even in desperate need of shampooing my hair is nigh incredible. Fact.

Still haven't read the books but as far as movies go HP&tDH was really good. Man do I hate Delores Umbridge!

The new Red Riding Hood movie, would they be silly enough to make Red be the werewolf? Hollywood being fond of flimsy twists and all.

I don't have any purple underwear. This must be remedied.

deathly hallows ticket = purchased

*sigh* now I'm having to grill steaks. I just wanna put on my flannel sleepy pants, watch Walking Dead, then go to sleep :(

all i wanted was some sesame stix, store didn't have any. today sucks

Sore throat, runny nose, fever, greasy hair, dead car battery - how could you let this happen to me?

Last night/today was great with friends and food, Wii, walking around and then some bowling. Downside: I'm feeling kinda flu-y now.

What the hell old dude?!? You don't just walk into the back room without asking no matter how bad you have to piss.

Spartacus Blood & Sand Season 1 - do I need it in my life?

I love finding surprise candy in the bottom of my book bag! It's almost better than money.

I am NOT in favor of retconning Peppermint Patty and Woodstock into Peanuts Xmas decor. They weren't there when the tree stood up!

Yay for veterans, boo (mostly) for war!

I'm so excited to finally be taking my Wii home after weeks of waiting that I might actually wee.

Why do people insist on parking right in front of our door when there's a whole big, empty parking lot to chose from?

Got my car back (again), got a black Wii, got a duffle bag full of ammo; the past two days have been productive.

shoot me now

Criminy, my head is killing me and it's not sinuses for a change. There will be neither rock nor roll in Cheap Thrills land this evening.

I'm in love! Okay, lust. Like there's a difference. Shut up!

Some movie just let out so I have a store full of people who better buy something and leave. Quickly.

Oh man, I've been at work 1 hour but it seems like 8. And I've had decent customers to talk to even. It's gonna be a long night.

brakes are fixed on the white truck now we get to start moving some of dad's antique car parts into the basement. the fun never stops

Oh joy, time to do truck repairs with dad.

Cannibal costume how-to

I've been kicking the idea for my costume around for a few years now. I always liked those silly get-ups where it looks like a dude is riding an ostrich and wanted to come up with a variation on that. I have a tee shirt with a picture of a cannibal dude in a mask stirring a boiling pot that says, "Cannibal Joe's Pot Luck: If you get out you're in luck." I thought it would be fun to do something along those lines but wasn't sure what exactly then the two ideas merged one sleepless night and voila!

I tried to find an actual plastic cauldron to wear instead of making one. A couple of years ago there were lots of them around in various sizes but this year all I could find were little ones on a par with jack-o-lanterns for trick or treating. I thought maybe I could find a flower pot that might work but they were either too bulky or too expensive. Then I remembered an art project from 1st grade. We took balloons and paper mache-ed them to use for making Easter baskets. Cheap and easy, I thought. I just had to find a balloon big enough to fit over my ridiculous gut. No such luck with the local party stores so I ordered a couple off the internet. Thankfully, my dad has a very well stocked garage and I was able to use the air compressor to inflate the balloon.



Next came the gooey part with the paper mache. I found many recipes online but I finally with the formula I remembered from 1st grade: tear newspapers into strips, soak them for a few seconds in a mixture of one parts flour per two parts water, then apply. My poor mother's lovely dinning room is a badly breaded mess now.



I ended up using like half a bag or flour and a week's worth of news papers, including two whole Sunday editions. I worked on it for four nights, putting on layer after layer until I just got too sticky to continue. Then it would be dry the next evening when I got home from work and I'd start over. You have to be careful and not let it dry too fast or the paper will split and you'll have to add many more layers to cover that. By the second night I was confident the plan was working and the paper was holding the shape of the balloon.



After it had completely dried it was time to pop the balloon and, if the paper didn't collapse, start cutting. Success! It was solid and thick enough not to tear.






I got really lucky with my first cut. It ended up being just wide enough to slip nicely over my belly. And the second cut was equally lucky. I eye-balled it to where fit snuggly around my waist and would stay put without the aid of suspenders. I wasn't too concerned with making the cuts even and level 'cause there would be other elements added on to obscure the edges. Then it was time to paint it. Outside, on a windy day, it got dry really fast.



Prior to the cutting and painting - while I was waiting for it to dry - I started on the skirt element that would hide my legs. I got a piece of white material for drawing the cannibals and another piece of floral print to use as a background for the areas I was going to cut out of the white sheet. And then I had a grass skirt to attach around my knees so that it would look like my legs belonged to the pygmies.









My pal Brad was a real trooper and helped me do the drawing and coloring. Instead of buying a bunch of expensive fabric paint I went with Sharpies. Brad also supplied me with a piece of pipe insulation to use for the rim of the cauldron. Then in between the pygmies I just drew a bunch of jungly looking leaves. After it was all colored and cut out I attached it to the cauldron with hot glue. I just used safety pins to stick the background fabric on the lower half of my shirt so it would just hang down loosely. Everything else was just accessorizing. I got the pith helmet from Amazon, the shirt was three bucks from discount store and dyed it to match the helmet. I could have gone with two grass skirts instead of one, though. I also had a monocle but it was a bother so I just left it in my pocket.



Overall it held up really well throughout the evening. It did end up splitting along the bottom a bit from all the times I had to take it off and on. I could sit on the edge of a chair with it on but not in a car. Also I erred on the side of caution with the white material and ended up having too much. We drew one too many pygmies on it. We drew four on it but three was the perfect fit so two of them over-lapped and it looked a bit weird from the back.

So now you know how to make one if you want to be awesome next Halloween.