Because I Hate You

2012-02-17T07:15:00.001-05:00

Hmm, what do I want for breakfast/bedtime snack?

2012-02-15T07:37:00.001-05:00

Dear makers of pop-up toasters, it's well past time you addressed certain design flaws.

2012-02-12T23:59:00.001-05:00

Was that a Clutch song at the end of Walking Dead?

2012-02-11T19:22:00.001-05:00

Dear Arm & Hammer, your scent-free deodorant smells distinctly of lemons. I don't like it when my armpits make me hungry.

2012-02-06T19:47:00.002-05:00

The fever broke but now I'm starting to feel queasy, and not my normal sort of upset tummy. I still blame you.

2012-02-04T11:02:00.001-05:00

bluh. woke up with a sore throat and little bit of a fever. i blame you.

2012-01-31T18:48:00.001-05:00

Stoopid naps. Stoopid back.

2012-01-25T13:25:00.001-05:00

AAAAHH!! Why is the power company shut down for 3 hours for maintenance? I didn't do anything wrong. Why punish me?

2012-01-25T08:23:00.001-05:00

AAAAHH!! Why is the internet not working? I haven't done anything wrong. Why punish me?

2012-01-24T18:35:00.001-05:00

Helping dad replace pipes and faucets on the kitchen sink. Someone kill me now.

新年快樂

2012-01-23T11:53:00.006-05:00

2012-01-22T18:30:00.001-05:00

Dammit, I hate finding a stray dirty shirt after the last load of laundry is going thru the rinse cycle.

2012-01-22T12:39:00.001-05:00

Now I recall why I dislike sleeping at night. All this daylight makes me feel like I should be doing something.

2012-01-21T10:43:00.001-05:00

My left ear has been itching since 3am. Which one of you traitorous weasels is talking shit about me?!?

2012-01-19T15:46:00.001-05:00

And so I have a car again.

2012-01-17T08:01:00.001-05:00

That was not a nice thing to do, 3rd ep of Sherlock.

2012-01-15T21:10:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Gutiérrez de los Perales Santa Ana Romanguera y de la Hinojosa Rasten (aka Charo)

2012-01-12T16:10:00.001-05:00

Finally got to see a doc about my tummy. Maybe a food allergy, maybe a parasite. Gotta take back 4 bottles of poop to find out.

2012-01-12T11:14:00.001-05:00

Middle East money making idea: a bumper sticker saying "my other car is a bomb"

2012-01-10T12:32:00.001-05:00

Random shift @ Cheap thrills this morning. Stayed up til 530am listening to GoT:DwD, then back up at 8. Starting to think that was a bad idewslfvaw[9efjzzzzzzzzz...

2012-01-08T21:14:00.001-05:00

What the frig is a Downton Abbey?

2012-01-08T19:34:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthdays Elvis and David Bowie.

the tuna ain't the only thing that melted

2012-01-07T23:05:00.002-05:00

So two of the four burners on our stove aren't working properly. The two on the left. When you turn one on sparks fly and both burners get hot. Dad has been "worked" on them twice in the past few months. Just a few minutes ago I was making tuna salad for sammiches. I dropped a can, it hit one of the left burners and sparks flew.

Me: (to dad, in another room) These burners just sparked and I didn't turn them on!

Dad: Did you turn them on?

Me: ...No. I dropped a tuna can on it and sparks flew.

Dad: Well I don't know. What did you do?

Me: ... Making tuna salad. I dropped a can, it hit a burner, sparks flew.

Dad: I don't know. Do it again and tell me what happens.

Me: (for a microsplitsecond started to follow orders)... NO!

Sometimes I wished I lived a more adventurous life - jumping out of airplanes, kayaking in the Amazon, dating people who don't put out on the first date - but then I realized that I take my life in my own hands every day in this house.

2012-01-04T00:47:00.001-05:00

Tonight I shall experiment in bed! I'll be cozying up to my 1st audiobook on my iPod - GoT: Dance With Dragons. Craziness!!!

2012-01-02T17:58:00.001-05:00

LOCALS: the roads are pure evil, esp. The Fayetteville walmart intersection. be careful if you have to go out.

2012-01-02T14:54:00.001-05:00

2012 = officially ruined. Thanks cold and snow.

2012-01-01T15:54:00.001-05:00

Happy 8th Day of Christmas, the day Baby Jesus got circumcised! Next year I'm putting a mohel in my Nativity. Also, Happy New Year!

XMAS loot list

2011-12-31T18:51:00.009-05:00

Here's my haul in no particular order.

I got a bunch of Magic: The Gathering cards, and a bunch of 3-ring binder sleeves to store them in, Star Wars (I refuse to call the 1st movie by any other name) and Return of the Jedi lithographs in nice, heavy folder things. Here's the fronts...

and the backs...

and the lithographs themselves. Sorry if these first few pics are a bit dark.

I also received a plushie Darth Vader, a set of Spider-Man cookie cutters that make your cookies look like comic book covers, a deck of playing cards shaped like a penguin....

a Boba Fett/Han Solo mug, a penguin wearing a pink parka, a Slave 1 tree ornament (that was a present from me to me)...

the campy Flash Gordon dvd, a Muppet's Beaker ornament, a big bottle of wine...

a DC Comic's Flash emblem mug, a Darth Vader/Luke Skywalker mug, a penguin shaped hand soap dispense with spiced cookie scented soap, a factory defective Stormtrooper, and that Kevin Smith & Stan Lee documentary "Mutants, Monsters, & Marvels."

Here's a closer look at the messed up Stormtrooper. I'm thinking that batch of clones had an ingredient or two left out.

And this is the packet of cocoa that came with the mugs, well, two packets for two mugs. It was a set.

And here's a panoramic view of the art on the mugs. I dunno why the sound never transfers when I put a movie from my phone onto the computer. *edit* Apparently the video sound works if I then transfer it to another medium.

Not pictured: many delicious snacks and candies. Because I ate them all.

Thanks everybody!

2011-12-30T12:52:00.001-05:00

Radioactive spider bite, but instead of getting super powers my internal organs are liquefying.

2011-12-29T20:16:00.001-05:00

I think I've narrowed my malady down to 2 options. It's either dysentery or datentery.

2011-12-28T15:58:00.001-05:00

Maybe I have beriberi.

2011-12-27T17:56:00.001-05:00

If anybody has been trying to call or text me, try again. Got mins on my phone.

2011-12-26T01:32:00.001-05:00

Good visits, good dinners, good presents, good Dr. Who marathon, good night.

2011-12-25T08:36:00.001-05:00

The frost is so heavy we got a white Xmas despite not getting any snow. It's pretty but won't linger so go look. Merry Christmas everybody.

2011-12-24T22:41:00.001-05:00

I think I have cholera. Somebody tell me what the symptoms are.

Put it in your mouth because I said so!

2011-12-23T02:33:00.003-05:00

My awesomeness now extends to the making of FRUIT CAKES! Yes, that misunderstood and oft belittled holiday staple has found redemption thanks to me. You may laugh but lets see you make meringue with a hand mixer that only has one beater. As a surprise no less. I didn't know going into this that I'd have to do that. And hats off to all y'all who had to do it by hand in ye oldie times. Okay, technically I didn't make a meringue 'cause I only used egg whites but still. That's like making a whole nuther dessert to put inside the first one. And don't bring up cherpumple. You can cheat and buy pre-made pies for that.

And really, who's the sadistic chef that came up with the idea to make somebody stand in a hot kitchen and beat egg whites, of all things, until they were firm? BY HAND? That's some evil shit. I'm looking at you, dead French jerk. Second guess is tied for a Belgian or a Swiss... Swissie? Swissite? Swisher? Whatev, it took me just shy of an hour to make it and I still didn't get it 100% firm. Anyways, the cakes are in the oven for the next 2 1/2 hours. Mom says it'll take even longer than that.

Way back before dad retired and mom was still able run rings around lesser beings in the kitchen the fruit cakes were a holiday must. She made bunches of them to give to family and dad's co-workers. And not in a white elephant sort of way like with stereotypical holiday jokes. Everybody legitimately loved them. When she got to where she couldn't do it anymore people were worried she was mad at them because they didn't get a yummy fruit cake in the mail.

I'm not a big fan of candied cherries but I like them well enough in a fruit cake. If it was just for me I'd only use raisins, nuts and the candied pineapples. I'll have to investigate and see if other types of candied fruit are made. I only ever see cherries and pineapple this time of year. And while a fruit cake is good to eat at room temperature I like to slap it down with some butter and fry a slice or two. And of course I add splash or two of brandy for a truly delish Xmas treat. Maybe I'll share.

2011-12-22T13:06:00.001-05:00

Hey Jews, Happy Hanukka! Hey Pagans, Happy Solstice!

2011-12-21T21:29:00.001-05:00

The mall was gross and people were rude so I totally crop dusted it from one end to the other.

2011-12-20T23:18:00.001-05:00

Hmmm, what delicious treat shall I make this evening?

2011-12-17T03:30:00.001-05:00

Holiday yummies, batch #3 is in the oven.

2011-12-16T23:51:00.001-05:00

1st and 2nd batches of holiday noms are done and done well.

Disturbing thought about Xmas and Santa's origin

2011-12-10T11:37:00.003-05:00

This morning my sister asked me if I knew Mrs. Santa Claus's name. According to Santa Claus Is Coming To Town it's Jessica, I said, but since he's based on an old Catholic bishop he didn't really have one. More likely he had an under aged boyfriend. We laughed. Then my devious and cynical nature took over.

I pondered further, to myself, that maybe Nicolas of Myra wasn't really being generous with all his gift giving to the poor - maybe he was paying them off to shut them up about what some priest did to their kids. Or worse, he gave out presents to lure kids himself. The poor have always been the target of opportunity for people getting up to no good. Who's to say what kind of spin the Vatican will put on all the child abuse cases and settlements a thousand years from now.

Granted, there are plenty of non-Christian traditions involving giving presents and young children's innocence that got woven into the mythology of Santa Claus but c'mon. Catholics love their traditions and have doing things the same way for ages. To be fair, there are plenty of Protestant preachers who are just as bad (sometimes worse) as the worst priests but A) they don't get as much press, and B) the Catholics have been around way longer and pretty much invented modern western religion and it's various holidays. Do we know anything about child molesting rabbis and imams?

Maybe it's time we got back to some good, old fashioned pagan values.

2011-12-09T17:06:00.001-05:00

I keep forgetting to post that Roman got to come home last night. He's doing fine.

2011-12-09T05:48:00.001-05:00

I believe it's time to re-institute my policy of calling everybody "Sugarbritches."

Baby news with pictures

2011-12-07T20:42:00.006-05:00

I took my sister to stay with Julia and Roman this afternoon. They're at CAMC Women & Children's. Roman is still throwing up but he's also pooping so some food is getting through somewhere. His color is a lot better if nothing else.

Gross, the IV is in his head. He rolls his head around and doesn't seem to be bothered by it. He does manage to grab onto it every so often so there's a chance he might pull it out. He pulled off a piece of tape, and a chunk of hair with it. He didn't cry but he fussed until it finally came loose then he went back to normal like he hadn't just done that.

The docs aren't sure if he's still puking because of post-surgery tummy upset or if something else is needing fixed in his tummy.

To look at him you'd never know anything was wrong. Other than his hands and feet being cold all the time he seems outwardly fine. He doesn't fuss or cry like he's in pain or anything. He doesn't even make heaving retch noises when he throws up. He just turns his head to the side and out it comes. He sleeps through it sometimes. I hope all the puke gets cleaned out of his ears and he doesn't get any ear infections.

His little surgical scar was barely noticeable but if they have to go back in the next one will be vertical from sternum to belly button. That'll suck but when he's older he can make up stories about it to impress chicks.

Poor Julia, all her clothes have puke on them too. Now that her mother is there maybe she can get a shower and a nap.

He had a little bit to eat before I left around 6:30, and a little more since then, and he hasn't done more than spit up a wee bit. Maybe he just has a tiny tummy and needs to have many small feedings throughout the day instead of a few larger ones. Whatever the problem is, he's in a decent hospital so hopefully he'll be fixed up and back home soon.

more baby news

2011-12-07T13:21:00.001-05:00

Roman started puking again. The hospital won't discharge him if he can't keep down a 3oz feeding. And if he can't he might need another surgery. Boo :(

2011-12-07T05:09:00.001-05:00

I get the urges to clean at the weirdest times.

2011-12-06T20:27:00.001-05:00

Wow, it's super dark and foggy tonight.

baby news

2011-12-05T12:45:00.001-05:00

Roman came thru his operation easy-peasy. Sometime around midnight they're gonna try feeding him and see if everything works properly now.

quick update

2011-12-04T18:32:00.001-05:00

Roman is scheduled for surgery first thing Monday morning. We're waiting for my sister to get out of work so we can go to Charleston.

Baby Update

2011-12-03T21:33:00.002-05:00

The test they did this afternoon was inconclusive but they're all positive it's pyloric stenosis. He and his mother are being shipped to a hospital in Charleston WV. I'm guessing it's Women & Children's but don't quote me. Depending on which doc is on duty tonight they'll do the surgery as soon as he's checked in and whatnot.

Roman was dehydrated so they started him on an IV. It's in the left side of his head but he doesn't seem to mind. He only got fussy when the nurse came to check his vitals. And because he can't be fed since there's a surgical procedure in his immediate future. Hopefully by this time tomorrow he'll be patched up and on his way to recovery.

Oh noes for the baby

2011-12-03T12:44:00.002-05:00

Roman had to go to the hospital last night. He won't stop puking and he's losing weight. It's either a case of super crazy reflux or pyloric stenosis. Since he projectile vomits and his belly looks like it has an alien in it my expert opinion is the later condition. Plus, his dad had that and while it isn't exactly hereditary the chances of it happening are much greater if a parent had it. Then again, his mother has had a problem with reflux her whole life.

We should find out this afternoon. He has an endoscopic procedure scheduled for around 1pm to see what's what. The reflux will be an easy fix with meds but the pyloric stenosis will require surgery. If that happens at least he and his parents will have matching scars. Poor lil guy :(

2011-11-25T16:51:00.001-05:00

SKYRIM - is it a video game or a filthy way to join the Mile High Club?

2011-11-23T17:28:00.001-05:00

Everybody that's traveling for the holiday, be safe and have good visits.

2011-11-18T07:43:00.001-05:00

Stoopid dragon cult >:( I'm going to bed.

2011-11-17T07:21:00.001-05:00

*yawn* Enough hack & slash. Time for bed.

2011-11-16T21:33:00.001-05:00

Thanks, AT&T lady, for waiting until I was halfway through writing the check before letting me know you didn't take them. I can't call your manager.

2011-11-15T20:17:00.001-05:00

My natures are at war - I can't decide if I'd rather play video games or hold the baby. One time I did both and that was awesome.

2011-11-15T17:48:00.001-05:00

Farewell, 4th favorite pair of boxer briefs. You were a quality under garment and won't easily be replaced.

2011-11-14T21:00:00.001-05:00

Internet, you contain way too much Naruto slash art. It makes it difficult to find the slash art I'm actually looking for. Stop it.

2011-11-13T17:58:00.001-05:00

Every time I hear a commercial for Il Divo I can't help but picture Mark Mothersbaugh with a stomach virus.

2011-11-12T17:09:00.001-05:00

I just love the zhht-zhht-zhht sound of corduroys when you wear them and walk around.

2011-11-12T15:40:00.001-05:00

Immortals is a lot of fun. I like how it wasn't all marble columns and togas, had a good distinct look.

2011-11-11T21:02:00.001-05:00

Thanks soldiers!

MORE BABY

2011-11-10T16:19:00.005-05:00

Here's some more pics of my great nephew. He's already got a great repertoire of annoyed, confused, and generally over it type expressions. He even has the Elvis lip curl down pretty good. He also has crazy long fingers and toes.

He woke up when I was holding him so I took a little movie.

And this is what he wore when they made his newborn pics today there in the nursery - minus the binky of course.

Thank gods he's all healthy and not weird looking. Now we just need for Julia to get recovered. She's having a lot of pain, naturally, from the C section, and swelling and discomfort in her legs. That has something to do with potentially having blood clots. Plus she opted to breast feed and RomAn is nothing if not voracaious. I haven't seen nipples that messed up outside of an S&M club. They're supposed to be coming home tomorrow if all goes well tonight.

2011-11-10T12:59:00.001-05:00

Babies are great and all but once you take them home you're kinda stuck with them.

2011-11-09T19:57:00.001-05:00

I'm SO close to having the motivation for cleaning up my room.

Dogs!

2011-11-09T18:58:00.002-05:00

Here's a short vid of Tippy (the black one) and Bubbles (the brown one) playing in the back yard. Goober (the fat one) makes a brief appearance to see what's going on.

Details

2011-11-08T17:34:00.003-05:00

Alrighty, he's ten pounds and one half ounce, 22 inches long, with a 15 inch head. When did they start measuring heads? Time of birth was 1:07am on Noverber 8th. No word yet on when Julia and RomAn will be coming home.

FINALLY!

2011-11-08T02:45:00.003-05:00

Sometime around 1:30am my youngest niece, Julia, finally had her baby boy. I think they did a C-section but don't quote me. The was the plan at midnight. Then I took a shower and when I got out there was a pic on my cell phone. I dunno the details on how big he is but Julia was saying he was ten pounds according to somebody who examined her a day or so ago.

So here he is, ~~Romin~~ Roman Conner Parks. Technically, his first name is spelled with an "I" but I refuse to do that. He better not throw up on the awesome Batman onesie I got him.

2011-11-06T17:28:00.001-05:00

Super great afternoon with the Shielers and Fugates. Dinner was delish!

2011-11-04T19:57:00.001-04:00

Who all has DC Universe Online?

2011-11-03T23:47:00.001-04:00

So bored, so hungry :(

2011-11-03T17:36:00.001-04:00

Go to Google, search "do a barrel roll" RIGHT NOW!

Aw, I made myself sad

2011-11-02T14:58:00.003-04:00

A nerdy thing just occurred to me. At the end of the big duel in Revenge of the Sith Obi Wan tell Anakin not to make the jump because he (Obi) has the high ground. But way back in Phantom Menace it's Obi Wan attempting a jump from an even more precarious low ground than Anakin had.

This has prolly been discussed already on all the geek forums but I never bother to look at those. Somebody prolly came up with a convoluted explanation for why it worked once but not twice. I don't care, really. And I don't mean to sound like a nit-picky nerd. The faults of the prequels have been discussed ad nauseam by far more insightful people than me.

I had initially intended this post to be a silly jab at my laser-keen powers of observation. Like how, several years after it had been out, it finally dawned on me what L7's "Pretend We're Dead" was really about. I thought they meant chicks should put on pasty make up, dye their hair, and act all gothy and apathetic like a corpse as a means of social protest or achieving girl power by abandoning Barbie-esque standards of beauty. That was big at the time. Silly me.

I guess in retrospect I do care about how shitty the Prequels are, somewhat, from a "how could such a glaring inconsistency make it through to the finished product?" stand point. My initial emotional dismay over them was short lived so now it's all down to issues of shoddy craftsmanship. But really I'm more annoyed with my brain for waiting so long to have that thought. It makes me sad all over again each time I realize something like that. meh

2011-10-29T18:02:00.001-04:00

SUCCESS! Managed to get my Jedi boots zipped all the way up over my beefy calf muscles.

2011-10-29T05:09:00.001-04:00

It took me longer to play a game of Mah Jong than it did to make my Halloween costume. Well, maybe two games. It's minimal but very nice.

2011-10-28T21:31:00.001-04:00

The narrator for that #GoldRush show needs to stop talking about draining the glory hole.

2011-10-28T20:43:00.001-04:00

FERRET! Ferret loose in the house.

2011-10-28T18:29:00.001-04:00

Just drove to Beckley and back. It was spitting snow mixed in with the rain. Gross!

2011-10-27T19:13:00.001-04:00

Bluh, I'm feeling a cold coming on.

2011-10-25T15:01:00.001-04:00

I've got an itchy spot on my leg that won't go away. Is cancer itchy?

2011-10-16T22:28:00.001-04:00

HOLY SHIT!!!

2011-10-16T19:12:00.001-04:00

What's with the endless string of traffic in the south bound lane? It annoys.

You don't know the power of the dork side!

2011-10-05T14:14:00.003-04:00

My super awesome custom light saber arrived today! I ordered it from a company called Ultra Sabers. It's the dark war glaive model. I ordered it last Friday around 1pm, paid for three day delivery and, minus the weekend, it arrived on time. I can't stop touching it.

All great swords deserve a name so I hereby dub it... JUSTIFIER!

2011-10-01T09:52:00.001-04:00

This cold morning I discovered what all that smoke was coming from my dashboard vents the other night: my heater burned up. Aaaaaaand #FML.

2011-09-28T12:17:00.001-04:00

GROSS! I'm at the DMV. Somehow this is all your fault.

2011-09-21T16:18:00.001-04:00

I'm needing suggestions for my Sith name, both serious and humorous. NOW!

2011-09-17T17:51:00.001-04:00

Guess who read the schedule wrong and doesn't have to work tonight!

2011-09-15T18:12:00.001-04:00

I don't recall eating whatever the hell it was I just burped.

2011-09-15T16:24:00.001-04:00

Dammit! Alternator is out and my battery won't hold a charge. FML

2011-09-15T13:07:00.001-04:00

Hooray! I figured out how to send pics on the new phone. Cock shots for everyone!!!

2011-09-15T01:49:00.001-04:00

Do I need Angry Birds in my life, or more importantly, in my phone?

2011-09-14T20:04:00.001-04:00

Experimenting with my new phone.

2011-09-14T17:29:00.001-04:00

SO MANY APPS!!!

2011-09-13T18:08:00.001-04:00

The 16 year old niece had her baby shower on Sunday, and the 18 year old niece just! got engaged to a violent pill head. I have a new phone.

2011-09-12T12:01:00.001-04:00

If it's bad to get a fortune cookie with no fortune in it how dire is a completely empty little cookie packet?

2011-09-10T13:56:00.001-04:00

things that are delicious today: caramel apple, sweet potato chips, Welch's white grape orange mango juice

2011-09-08T15:36:00.001-04:00

GAH! If a dog has worms and it licks you on the mouth are you now contaminated? I'm asking for a friend...

2011-09-07T11:44:00.001-04:00

*bluh* I crashed last night around 8:30, woke up at 6am to pee, then woke up for real at 10:30. Stoopid allergies, and I still feel tired.